So before I really do anything, I guess I should share why I
started this blog. Well, there are several reasons. Firstly, I have alllllways been terrible at
journaling. I think my record was like 81 days and they were only sort of
consecutive. However I believe in the importance of recording my life,
experiences, spiritual moments, etc. for my future posterity. (I’ve always
wanted to be that person that some great-great-great grandchild or whatever
finds a journal written by and inspires some great change of heart or whatever.
And so have you. Don’t even lie.) But I also want to be able to express my
infinite (ha!) creativity, and just writing everyday what happened to me or w/e
was never going to cut it. Hello
blogging: the best tool ever for journaling.
Secondly, I feel the need to tell my story. Even though I’m not really sure why, because
to me, it just seems like such a simple trial compared to people who suffer so
much greater loss than I do. However it
is MY story, and it is worth telling. So
here goes: back in
SeptemberOctoberNovember time of last year, I was in my senior year of high school
and applying to colleges. I only applied to two schools (crazy, I know) BYU and
BYU-Idaho. The acceptance letter for
BYU-I came first, but I really paid no mind.
For my whole life, I’d been dreaming of attending BYU in Provo, UT. And never imagined that I wouldn’t get
accepted. After all, I was an honors student
with a 3.78 (unweighted) GPA. 28 on my
ACT. I was taking 5 AP classes, and my
other two were choir classes, in which I excelled. I was the top Soprano I in the state. I had auditioned and been selected to
participate in every choir I had ever auditioned for. I was in the Laurel class
presidency in my ward. I had earned my
personal progress award AND my honor bee. I was a Seminary grad with perfect
attendance. I legitimately thought I was
a shoo-in. So when that rejection letter
came, it was probably the biggest shock of my life. Especially when all of my LDS peers were all accepted. However, in that moment, I reflected back to
an experience I’d had at EFY (Especially for Youth) at Southern Virginia
University a few years earlier. I
remembered the President of SVU addressing us about one of their school’s
philosophies “The Genius of Small” (i.e. small campus, student body, etc.) and
thinking that I really liked that atmosphere.
A smaller school, with a smaller student body, and I related that to
BYU-Idaho. For a moment I wanted that
over BYU Provo, but I let the thought go.
Fast forward to the day that my life plan was changed in a matter of
seconds. I was devastated, of course,
that I didn’t get into what I thought was my dream school, but I rememberd that fleeting feeling I'd had years earlier and suddenly I felt right
about attending BYU-I. And so, I bucked
up, and started drafting my new life plan.
Thirdly, I am at a point in my life where I find myself with
oodles of free time. The summer vacation
was great! But when school-time rolled around again, I was really struggling.
My friends all left for school, and my best friend moved to California. I was
very alone. I had just started a new job
working at a fabric store, and the job transition was really rough for me. Also there’s a huge age gap between me and
most of my coworkers, so I found it really hard to relate to any of them at
first. Compounded with those tricky boy problems, it was a recipe for
depression. I would go to work, come
home, and just stay in my room the rest of the day and wallow in my loneliness
(great tactic, I know).
One day my mom picked me up from work, I was complaining
about my new job again, and I guess after having heard enough, she just said
something along the lines of “well, Jordan, there’s nothing you can do to
change your situation. So, I think that now it’s time to change your attitude.” And that kind of got to me, because my whole
life I’d prided myself on having a positive attitude about everything. I realized I wasn’t trying to positive. I was
letting the world affect me, instead of affecting the world. So I changed.
It’s still hard for me, sometimes, but now I fill my days with better activities. Now I am happier, and I love my job. I’m never alone. I never was, and I realize
that now. Now I really appreciate the time I have here. And blogging is a way for me to make sure I’m
not wasting a single minute of it.
Lastly, as I said earlier, my friends are all over the country,
which makes it harder for us to keep in touch.
I wanted to share all of my projects, thoughts, family updates, and so
forth with them, and I wanted something a little more personal than
Facebook. So here I am! This is very new
to me, and I am learning a lot. It’s
still a little overwhelming, but I am feeling pretty good about it.
Jordan
No comments:
Post a Comment